we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.