Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.