OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?