do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation