I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Randomize
