So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize