i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
