So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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