mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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