OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
