This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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