Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
