Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
