I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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