I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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