NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize