it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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