two words: eviction party
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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