Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
