can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
