What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
