I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
They have beer where we have blood.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
