just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single