If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
