Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.