remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
