I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
