my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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