Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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