is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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