Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize