Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
