So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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