whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
