I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
