Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
