I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
