Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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