Pappa wants mamma naked
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
