Dual....:-)
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
