someone threw a dead crab at me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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