you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
