I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
