i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
