you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
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I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
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You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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