My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize