i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
