You just made me feel so damn special
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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