so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize