Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize