I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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