matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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