I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Blood and glitter go together right?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I made him laugh his dick is mine
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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