I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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