my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
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Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
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What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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