dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
