you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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