i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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