don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
