its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
