They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
