"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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