3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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