You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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